Sleep

They say you should get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, but I don't think I have gotten that in twenty one years.  It is amazing how well one can learn to function on very little sleep.  Those of you that are sleep deprived know what I am talking about.  Now trust me I would like to be able to get sleep just like the average person does.  For one reason or another sleep just isn't in the cards for me.  Oh, how I envy you folks that can go to sleep at twelve AM and sleep to twelve PM.  You just don't know how lucky you are.

For me, I am a very light sleeper.  Every little sound wakes me up unless it is a sound that I am used to or that I need to be listening to (like the dog moving around so I can let it out to go to the bathroom). I also have the kids that still wake me up during the night by putting their head or leg in my face.  Yes, one or more of my kids still sleep with me on the nights that dad is working.  Then their is the cats who don't sleep at night and want to be loved/play and jump on the bed and bite your feet or rub your face.  Nothing like having a fifteen pound cat land on you when you are in a sound sleep. Then there is the farting. Yes, the farting.  The dog will fart, one of the kids will fart, my husband will fart on the nights he is home.  With all these gastric disturbances going on who could possibly sleep through that?  Then on the nights that my husband is home, if he is sleeping he snores.  Yes he snores, very loudly, or he has bad dreams, so I have to hear him moan and cry all while he fights the bad guys or can't find his car.  Then he does this thing with his foot.  You know how when you scratch a dogs belly, they do that thing with their leg and it just gets to going?  Well that is my husband with his foot at night.  Then the bed gets to shaking and one would think there was an earthquake.  We live in Kansas for Gods sake!  That is on the nights my husband can sleep then we have the nights he can't sleep because he is used to being up all night.  He does this thing I call making rounds.  He will lay down, then thirty minutes later get back up, make the dog go out to go to the bathroom (if she needs to or not) check on all the rooms in the house, get something to eat.  He will eat this in bed while watching TV with it turned up loudly.  Then he will lay back down and do it all again in another thirty minutes.  He will do this all night until five, when it is time for me to get up, then he will sleep like a baby.  Oh, and I forgot to mention, he will try to touch me.  Come on dude, I already have four kids what I really need at three in the morning is sleep not a little hanky panky.  Actually he is lucky I am not kicking his a*# by now and should be thankful I am letting him live, but know he has to be sitting over there munching on those damn chips watching that stupid movie pouting.  Oh, now the dog farted again.  WILL I EVER GET ANY SLEEP?  Oh, I am sorry did I get off on a tangent?  

Well it is time for me to go to work.  Sweet dreams honey.