No Bullying Allowed!

 In honor of anti bulling month I thought I would wright about bullying.  I have to say it is about time that some entities in society are starting to acknowledge bullying does affect people in negative ways. But they need to not only realize that bullying happens in the school system and in cyberspace, but it can also be happening at home by siblings or parents or out in the work place.  Yes, an adult can be a bully.  Pretty much it can happen any time, any where that another person or group intends to belittle you or cause harm in some way, usually over a period of time.
In the past no one really cared about kids being bullied.  It wasn't until kids started going into the schools killing their classmates or killing themselves did anyone really start to care.  It was always, kids will be kids.  But now people are starting to realize that it just might not be the video games screwing these kids up but the people around them that are terrorizing them that are driving them to the brink of desperation to do what they have done.
Now do I feel that the school system or society is doing enough to stop bullying?  No.  Do I feel like it is anything more than lip service?  No.  Do I feel like the work place is doing anything to stop harassment?  No.  Do I feel like they are doing anything more than lip service there?  No.  Each place has laws and procedures set up in place to help the individual that that is being bullied or harassed, but what happens to the person that files the complaint?  This is why individuals don't come forward.
Now Mommyd is going to talk from experience.  When I was in school, I was bullied, but at times I also did the bulling.  I was picked on for various reasons.  I came form a poor family, so I never had nice clothes, my mom would cut my bangs, so you can imagine what my hair looked like.  I had learning disabilities, I was very shy, I was over weight, tallest girl in my class, and so on.  This gave the other kids lots of reasons to make fun of me and to pick on me.  Also be cause I was an LD kids, the teachers did not want me in their class and they definitely let me know it on a daily basis.   My siblings also picked on my constantly when I was at home.  I don't know how many times I pulled around the yard by my pigtails or locked in the hayloft with snakes by my siblings.  Because of the constant torment that I received on a daily basis, I did not feel very good about myself nor did I feel very good about other people.  I do believe that this is why I would be mean to my teachers.  Very seldom was I mean or bully the other students at school, but I definitely did bully my teachers.      For some reason it made me feel better to get back at the teachers and the administration for treating me so badly all those years and not protecting me.  And it let them know how it felt to be bullied back.  By the time I had gotten into high school I started to get smarter about how to torment my bullier.
I got together other outcasts girls and had them practice with me and we went out for cheer leading, and made it on the cheer leading team which knocked several of the popular girls off the squad.  I got several of the nerdy boys to go out for shop promising them that I would do their project if they would pass the book work for me just so the nerds and a girl could be in shop.  This is something that had never happened at our school before.  When I got into college, I became a protector of sorts of those who were picked on.  For instance, in the dorms, we had an Asian girl who these who these six black girls picked on relentlessly.  One of the black girls roomed with this Asian girls and made her life a living hell.  One day I just could not take it any more, so I backed the girls down a hall with no escape.  I gave the girls three choices.  They could either leave the Asian girl alone for now on, get their ass kicked by the crazy white chick or they could try and kick the crazy white chicks ass the choice was up to them.  Luckily for my sake I scared them just enough to so that they didn't want to take me on that day, but the next day I ended up having to take them on in the dorm TV room because they had not quit leaving the Asian girl alone and I wanted them to know I meant business.  Now I don't have any skills at fighting, but I did have allot of experience at defending myself while getting whooped by my siblings and I have experience wrestling hogs.  Oh ya, did I mention I was one of the top weight lifters in my high school.  Needless to say with in a few minutes they were apologizing to the Asian girl and she did not have any problems with them again the rest of her time at college.  Now that I am in the workforce, I find that the bullying makes me more mad  and more unjust than it was in school.  because if you try and do something about it you know that you will probably loose your job and the chances of you getting another job are slim.  So in this case you really have to bite your toung and bear it and find the little ways to make the bully or bullies look bad.  The thing with work is that unless you have some type of power there you are dispensable and you can be gotten rid of at any time so you have to be very discrete with pay backs.
Now Mommyd isn't encouraging people to fight or encouraging people to take revenge, but am saying for the people that are being picked on to start to stand up for your self in some way without going overboard and letting it get to the point to where you snap and go postal on someone.  So when someone calls you ugly say back to them "Thank you, my ex used to always call me Un-usualy Gorgas and Lavishly Yummy.
Always have a come back. And if it comes to fighting, try to out smart them, but if they throw the first punch, make mommyd proud.  Also remember, there are others, that are getting picked on, make them your friends and have each others backs.

Underwear

I know I should not be writing my blog while I am at work, but I am a bit distracted.  You see, my underwear is riding up my butt.  Men don't seem to have this problem, and if they do, they just grab a handful of undie and yank it out.  Women, oh, women have to be more discrete.
So then I sit there and I squirm trying to figure out how to rectify the problem in an inconspicuous manner.  In our office we have open cubicles with only two walls and not private at all.  Should I just man up and just yank it out?  NO.  I move around in my seat just hoping that if I move just right it will release its self from its hiding place in my crack and give me some peace and let me get back to work.  Nope, not working.
Then I stand up and stretch, look around and very quickly pull that sucker out of there.  Very proud of how sly I was.  No one noticed.  When I bent to sit back down.... Back in the crack.  Now dang it, I am getting mad, I have work to do.  So now I am on a mission.  I trek off to the bathroom.  I am going to take care of this pantie problem if it is the last thing I do.  I pull up my skirt, pull that sucker from it's resting place and try to outsmart this annoying piece of cloth.  Light bulb!  Maybe if I just don't pull them up all the way, it will give the caboose a little extra wiggle room.  So I straighten my skirt, smile at myself in the mirror (for I have just outsmarted  a pair of underwear).  Head back to my desk and by the time I get there....you guessed it.  Back in the crack.

Today is not an unusual day, it is a typical day.  Underwear always rides and if it is not the underwear, it is my bra itching or riding up in the back, or a tag is scratchy.  I guess this blog is intended for those who design this stuff.  It would really be nice if you could make some panties that weren't crack lovers.  Bras that didn't itch and stayed put.  Socks that did not have the seam around the toe.  Clothing that had removable tags, and so on.  You designers can not count on me to do it because I am a procrastinator and will probably never get around to it.

Sleep

They say you should get at least 8 hours of sleep a night, but I don't think I have gotten that in twenty one years.  It is amazing how well one can learn to function on very little sleep.  Those of you that are sleep deprived know what I am talking about.  Now trust me I would like to be able to get sleep just like the average person does.  For one reason or another sleep just isn't in the cards for me.  Oh, how I envy you folks that can go to sleep at twelve AM and sleep to twelve PM.  You just don't know how lucky you are.

For me, I am a very light sleeper.  Every little sound wakes me up unless it is a sound that I am used to or that I need to be listening to (like the dog moving around so I can let it out to go to the bathroom). I also have the kids that still wake me up during the night by putting their head or leg in my face.  Yes, one or more of my kids still sleep with me on the nights that dad is working.  Then their is the cats who don't sleep at night and want to be loved/play and jump on the bed and bite your feet or rub your face.  Nothing like having a fifteen pound cat land on you when you are in a sound sleep. Then there is the farting. Yes, the farting.  The dog will fart, one of the kids will fart, my husband will fart on the nights he is home.  With all these gastric disturbances going on who could possibly sleep through that?  Then on the nights that my husband is home, if he is sleeping he snores.  Yes he snores, very loudly, or he has bad dreams, so I have to hear him moan and cry all while he fights the bad guys or can't find his car.  Then he does this thing with his foot.  You know how when you scratch a dogs belly, they do that thing with their leg and it just gets to going?  Well that is my husband with his foot at night.  Then the bed gets to shaking and one would think there was an earthquake.  We live in Kansas for Gods sake!  That is on the nights my husband can sleep then we have the nights he can't sleep because he is used to being up all night.  He does this thing I call making rounds.  He will lay down, then thirty minutes later get back up, make the dog go out to go to the bathroom (if she needs to or not) check on all the rooms in the house, get something to eat.  He will eat this in bed while watching TV with it turned up loudly.  Then he will lay back down and do it all again in another thirty minutes.  He will do this all night until five, when it is time for me to get up, then he will sleep like a baby.  Oh, and I forgot to mention, he will try to touch me.  Come on dude, I already have four kids what I really need at three in the morning is sleep not a little hanky panky.  Actually he is lucky I am not kicking his a*# by now and should be thankful I am letting him live, but know he has to be sitting over there munching on those damn chips watching that stupid movie pouting.  Oh, now the dog farted again.  WILL I EVER GET ANY SLEEP?  Oh, I am sorry did I get off on a tangent?  

Well it is time for me to go to work.  Sweet dreams honey.

Normality

What is it to be normal?  Is there such a thing?

Growing up in the family that I grew up in and now living in the one I now have I wonder if any one is truly normal.

The definition of normal according to the dictionary is 1.  of the regular or usual kind 2.  of average intelligence or development 3.  free from sickness of body or mind.

Now I would have to ask how much of the population would fit into those categories?  So the true normal is to be abnormal as far as the population is concerned.

Do you remember when you used to have sleepovers at a friends house and you used to think about how strange  some of the the things were the other family would do?  Or when you go to work, you look at one of you coworkers and wonder how they were ever able to get a mate when they are so goofy?  And so on.... 

This leads me to take a look at my own very special family.  We are a multi cultural family, so I am sure you can imagine the difference of opinion as to what normal is in our family.  Just for an example something as small as answering a phone.  When I grew up you always answered the phone by saying "Hello", then the person on the other line would ask for the person who they wanted to speak with, or you would have a conversation of some sort and say good bye.  Not my husbands family.  When they answer the phone it is "What", "Ya", or "Hu".  If they are the one calling, they state who or what they want.  If that person is not home at the time or you can not do what they want, then CLICK, the phone is hung up.  No need for good bye.  The way I grew up that would be very rude, the way they grew up no need for niceties.  It still kills me how different his family is than mine in so many ways.  Another example being, even though my husband and I had been married for years, my mother-in-law refused to call my daughter and I by our names.  My daughter was always the girl and I was always called wife.  To this day I am not sure why this is.  The differences really came out when my husband and I had our first child together.  We had a baby girl and my mother-in-law insisted upon babysitting her.  Now you would think that this would be the perfect setup.  Who better to watch your child than a loving grandmother?  Well, I was encouraged to breast feed my daughter for health reasons (she was born with a blood issue that the doctors did not know what it was at the time), and she had allergies.  My mom-in-law would dump out the breast milk and put in cows milk, because the doctors and I were stupid and she knew better.  Here kids were raised on cows milk and they were fine.  She would also give her hard candy.  That would scare the crap out of me.  But to her that was a normal thing to do when a baby cried.  Finally I told my husband that we were going to have to get jobs on two different shifts because I was terrified that one day I was going to find out that my baby chocked on something had a reaction, her nose was peirced or her head was shaved.  I told him that even though that is what they do to babies where you are from, I am not comfortable with that for our child.

But then again, my poor husband had to get used to my family too.  It is custimary for my family to tease the new person that is brought into the family.  Our family celibrates birthdays and holidays and we have family getothers on these ocasions.  Also big difference in food preferences. 

Now I look at myself, am I normal?  Not by the deffinition presented above.  Yes, I have a head, body, two arms, two legs, all my fingers and toes, but I am dyslexic, I have SID, arthritis, migrains, along with other health issues.  All these things make me abnormal.

Now lets look at my husband.  He is a man, need I say more?  Seriously, he is dyslexic, he has OCD, and he has an adictive personality along with AM issues.  This would make him fall into the abnormal catigory.

My oldest daughter.  She is mulatto, above average in inteligence, over weight, and very social. This puts her into the abnormal catigory.

My second daughter has OCD (for those of you that do not know, that stands for Obsesive Compolsive Disorder).  She also has SID (Sensory Intigation Disfunction or Sensory Processing Disorder).  Again not normal.

My son has SID, dyslexia, speach problems, scoliosis, and some other health issues that the dr has not been able to diagnose.  Not normal.

My last and final son.  has SID, speach problems, and at age 7 still pinches my elbow as his lovey.  Now that is not normal!

(my kids did not attach to blankets or stuffed animals as babies, they attached to parts of my body.)

So no one in my family is normal and probably if you take a look at yours and where you came from you will find the same.

But everyday my husband and I go to work, our kids go to school, and despite all of our adnormalities we function quite well in this normal world made up all you other abnormal people.

 

Driving Skills

Every day I drive to work, back home again for lunch and then back to work.  Thankfully I only live 10 minutes away from work, but each time I get behind the wheel I feel like I am not putting my live in my own hands, but in the hands of the other drivers around me.  The first three years I was at my job, I was involved in four accidents.  None of wich were my fault.  The next three years the city did road consturction on the highway offramp and on the street that I drive on adding more lanes, hoping that would help with some of the traffic problems in the area, but lets face it, people just don't know how to drive.

Now lets discuss the problems with the drivers out there.

First of all, screw your head on before you get behind the wheel.  Now come on folks, why do you have to remember your cell phone but forget your comonsense?

Secondly, I am sure you know how long it takes you to get to work so leave your house on time.  If you have to drive faster than 10 mph over the speed limit, you need to get your tail end up earlier.  If I can get one of my kids with OCD and SPD on the bus by 6:20 in the morning, then get the other kids ready for school and myself to work by eight, I am surer that anyone else can do it to without having to drive like a bat out of hell and putting the rest of us in danger.

The same goes for you people who are afraid to drive fast, please, please, stay off the highway.  You are an accident waiting to happen.  If you can not keep up with the flow of traffic, you need to take the side streets.

If your car is too raggidy, to keep up with the flow of traffic, you need to keep off  the highway.  If you have a truck or are pulling a trailor and you do not have your load tied down, you need to keep off the highway.

The rest of us drivers don't appreciate all of your crap flying in our faces.

Truckers, I love you.  You are a special breed of people and I appreciate the hard work that you do, but I am going to have to get on you too.  I realize you drive a big vehical, but believe it or not, it does fit into one lane.  You do not need to take up more than, one lane other than when turning.  I used to drive a big bus, and they are just as wide as a truck, so I know that they fit in the driving lanes.  Just because you are bigger does not mean you can bully everone else off the road.  Remember, you might run me over and kill me, but my family will su you.

Next lets talk about cell phones.  Just put them down.  Just put them down.  Half the people can't drive anyway and now we put cell phones in there hands....this is just insane.  Ok, now follow me along on this one.  I slow down because the light turned yellow, and I come to a stop at the red light.  I look to my left at the guy in the lane next to me.  He is picking his nose.  He is that half wit who left his commonsense at home and dosen't realise that he is in public and the people down town are getting a kick laughing at him picking his nose through the cammra on the light.  Then I wach the people that start to proceed through the green light.  Out of the twenty cars that go through, 15 of them are on their cell phones.  To make it worse, out of those 15, 7 are texting.  And let me add that yes it gets even worse than this.  Out of the twenty cars that go through, half of them are eating or driking.  Now I believe in multi tasking, but this is a bit much.  So now you have drivers that can't stay in their own lane, have no clue when it is their turn to go, and are oblivious to you flashing them the bird for their stupid behavior.  Oh, did I mention that one of them was a cop.

For all of our sakes, just put the cell phones down.  Believe it or not you will survive with out using it while you are driving. 

It would be a good idea, if you do not know the rules of the road when there are more than one lane turning left or right, to please ask someone who does, I know that they do not have that in the driving manual.  It still is inportant to know proper etticate of the road and please be courtious to other drivers.

May your drive be a safe and happy one.

Proud of You

 

            A couple of weeks ago was my birthday and my mother gave me a card (along with a wonderful lunch).  In this card she wrote “I love you and dad and I are very proud of you.”  Now my mom writes this in every card that she gives me.  She probably puts this in the cards that she give to my siblings as well, but every time I see that statement in the card it makes me smile and makes me wonder why she feels the need to put “we are very proud of you” in there.  Most people just say love mom and dad.

            So now I am thinking (no it doesn’t hurt), does she feel like she did not tell me that enough when I was a kid so she is making up for it now?  By the way, my parents didn’t tell me that when I was a kid.  If that is the case does putting it in a card now make up for not saying it then?  What has changed to make them proud?

            Darn it, now I am going to have to take a look at my life to see why they could possibly be proud of me now.

            When I was born, my parents wanted a boy, they got a girl.  I would take that as a disappointment.  Mom wanted more kids, but she had to have a hysterectomy when she gave birth to me.  I would take that as a disappointment.  I was very shy, I had learning disabilities and did not do well in school.  Another disappointment there.   I had a child out of wedlock, a big no no in a Catholic family.  Out of all of my siblings, I make the least amount of money by at least sixty thousand a year.  One big disappointment after another.  No wonder you never told me you were proud of me, there was nothing to be proud of, or was there????

            When I was born, I was in critical condition. Overcame and survived.  Even though I have learning disabilities I graduated college with out taking special classes and with all A’s and B’s.

Even though I don’t make the kind of money my siblings make, my parents know I am a hard worker and have good work ethics.  I have been able to keep a job and raise a family when each member of the family has one or more issue themselves without loosing my sanity (or have I?).

            I guess there is reason to be proud after all even if I didn’t see it before, I see it now.  Thanks Mom.

One thing I do remember from the time I was little till now was that my parents always told me that they loved me.

Make sure you tell your kids you love them every day and your parents too.  They will remember it.

Oh, you can also add that you are proud of them.

The Pains of Trying To Set Up My Blog

Well I thought it was time to go ahead and post my first blog even though my blog site my not be ready.
Look at me kids yo mamas a bloggin!
Ok, lets get down to business.  I will never admit to being the sharpest crayon in the box and for me setting up my blog site was a lot like a blind person trying to make it through Wipe Out.  Now I am not saying that a blind person could not make it through Wipe Out, but I bet you get the idea.  Needless to say there was a lot of expressive words being said.   But being bound and determined not to let the tech wold not pass me by, here it is. 
Now I have to figure out what tweet is.  I have been told that it not something that birds do????